hey guys, just an update from your favorite self deprecating fashionista.
i’m still alive and well
last week, i went blank (update-less) on my blog, which was weird to do, because up ’til recently i had been posting fairly consistently.
my reasoning for this was due to feeling like the emotional equivalent of poop all week. seriously, i’ve been wrapped up in an emotional malaise that has been worse than any i can remember in quite some time. frankly, this was good ol’ wholesome ‘bleak-outlook’ depression, not the ‘something awful happened to me’ catalytic type of dark clouds depression. it was pretty gnarly to say the least, (to clarify: i am using gnarly as a measure of badness, not goodness, this is a wholly contextual construct— as gnarly can go either way).
anyway, i’ve been attempting to bounce back. y’know some people
assholes oftentimes can’t/won’t comprehend the concept that when you’re depressed you just have to deal with these really uncomfortable nerve-pinches of sadness and mania. it’s really tiring and frustrating, (to experience and explain), but you have to do your best to brace for the episode(s) and people’s ignorance.
with that said, i had a pretty quiet week, i didn’t do, eat, or talk much, or anything …really. i did apply to some jobs, but that made me feel shittier.
fortunately, my girlfriend came over on Friday to give me some support. we ended up getting coffee and then she convinced me to go buy a new sewing machine, which was really sporadic, but equally a great decision.
when we got back we set it up, had a little bit of homemade charcuterie and wine and relaxed, ((like the faux/neo-boug that we are))!~
the following day (Saturday), we met up with my mom and took her into the city, since she was planning to go help my sister clean up her apartment, as she’s due to move out soon. it was a bit of a harrowing journey, due to the temperature (it was freezing) and some shut down subway lines (thanks MTA). ultimately, we had lunch and parted ways with my mom, since Rebecca and i had some plans to go to the Brooklyn museum for a cool exhibition.
***(please note that our plans were completely canceled and we stayed indoors for the remainder of the evening, because both of us ended up being tired lol).
so, we decided to chill, accepting the day as a wash, and then planned to go to the Met the following day. this was a pretty fair concession, since both of us really wanted to see the Michelangelo exhibit that was on display there (for only like 6 more days).
so, we started our morning off by getting brunch at our favorite little brunch place, (i’ve mentioned this place before, but dang it is amazing). they updated the menus and we were pretty excited to try some new options. Rebecca ordered more…”exciting” food, while i had my classic, oatmeal. (and as many of you know, oatmeal is like…my favorite food on this planet).
after we ate, we made our way over to the Met, and boy, oh boy was it crowded. fortunately, one of Rebecca’s friends works at the info desk, so we were able to skip the line and have easy entrance. sadly, we had to traverse through tons of people to reach the exhibit, (which was located in a far corner of the museum. anyway, when we got there it was
fucking infested with tourists and swarms of pseudo intellectuals and faux art snobs really exciting to see in person. honestly, the amount of onlookers, was a bit…too much for me, especially since i get anxious in public crowds. however, this was offset by just being able to view a fraction of Michelangelo’s body (pun intended) of work(s) in person. that experience alone, was enough to make me feel the everlasting immensity of his legacy.
**(so much of a legacy that it honestly made me want to crawl back into the womb and start over as an artist).
as we skirted through the exhibition my girlfriend and i split up to look at some different stuff. Rebecca and i are from different artistic backgrounds, she possesses a much deeper scholastic and well-rounded knowledge of classical art than i do. as a result our preferences on what we took away and chose to appreciate differed greatly. while she was walking around taking in the entire breadth of the exhibition, i went much slower and stood observing many of Michelangelo’s figure studies and sketches.
i accredit my interest in those figure studies as due to being a barebones essentialist. i need to examine art in its rawest form and see the visceral process(es) for how things came to be and were structured. it’s basically the same way i view fashion. i need to know the identity, inspiration, then the structure and fabrication, followed by the stitchings, cut, drape, and so on.
i marveled over many of these studies, because for me, these humanized Michelangelo, who i can only identify as either: a template preeminent artist or as the comic relief, orange bandana wearing turtle, who I grew up watching.
— but seriously, seeing the foundational process of some of his figures, remarkably drawn out and captured, while being contrasted with some hastily and crudely sketched appendages really made me feel… just a few inches closer to his artistic process and his humanness. some of his meticulously captured details (muscles lol) in these tiny partitioned squares that would later be sized to fit into a segment of the Sistine Chapel’s ceiling were overwhelming for me.
speaking of which, the exhibit, of course, had a recreation of the ceiling of the chapel; the Met, used their own ceiling in an elongated room and then surrounded the display with various studies that Michelangelo had conducted and would eventually implement into the Sistine Chapel.
naturally the exhibit had other artworks related to Michelangelo. a favorite of mine was Federico Zuccaro’s: “Artists Drawing in Michelangelo’s New Sacristy for San Lorenzo”; which was a depiction of exactly what it described… a drawing of people within the New Sacristy, behaving in an array of manners, some observing and drawing, while other were relaxing or even climbing structures to get a better view of Michelangelo’s tomb of Lorenzo II de’ Medici.
i immediately found a depressing modern parallelism of this concept in the form of the hordes of museum onlookers who were sticking their phones in front of picture frames to take photos of these images.
of course, Zuccaro’s depiction was meant to emphasize the lasting greatness and reverence of Michelangelo. the present equivalent that I’ve brought forward only shows that while humans adapt, technologically, we are still socially unaware creatures. ((this isn’t to say I wasn’t taking photos too, because I did, as you can see!~ but I really tried to take photos in a considerate way to other viewers, so as not to take away from their experiences)).
as we were leaving the exhibit, we of course paraded through the permanent Monet displays, which is always a fun activity for me, when . i visit the Met. naturally, when i was going through some of the other amazing permanent collection artworks, i had to stop and take a picture of my favorite Klimt work: Portrait of Serena Lederer.
upon arriving back home, i was hit with another round of sad-slumping, but Rebecca was able to thwart my mood-shift by channeling energy into me, by means of enthusiastically dancing and jumping up and down in her room, until i felt happier. as a result, we ended up going back out to visit some of her friends and attended their super bowl party. (i hate sports). nonetheless, it ended up being a lot of fun, (mostly we drank) and ate copious amounts of chips (with guac).
anyway, that was my Sunday night— into Monday. the latter was just me, meeting my mom for a quiet brunch, and then eventually headed back home to rest and have a bit of normalcy after some busier days. (which i am still doing, as i write this and drink some earl grey).
hope y’all are doing okay, i’m still hanging in there. PS if you’re in the NYC area please try and go see that Met exhibit!~ (or if you want to come hang out with me!). (￣▽￣)ノ